Saturday, March 01, 2008

"the Illuminatii"

Hello Everyone,
Seems like the greatest minds in the world got together and did a bit too much thinking. Today the "Doomsday Vault" opened on a small island north of Norway as a repository for seed stocks in the event of catastrophic destruction of the lands of the earth. Seems like a good idea... Seems like, I had heard of this idea since I was in university and something about it just struck me as odd today.
Okay, lets suppose this meteorite hits the earth and send us into a nucleur winter for 6 months or so and when we crawl out of our little hidy hole, we find that there is no longer any seeds or vegetation to rebuild from. "Great" say I, I know of this doomsday vault where we can go and repopulate the world's vegetation, from there the surviving animals can start repopulating and in a hundred years everything will be good again. For the purpose of this discussion lets say I'm in America's midwest where the discussion of plant life might hold a little more hope than here in the Arctic. So here we are in Iowa, we just have to get some seeds and save the planet.... where are the seeds or this incredible place called the "Doomsday Vault"? It's located on a tiny remote island about half way between Norway and the North pole. Now, I never claimed to be a geographical genius, but should someone have built the seed vault somewhere where you could actually use the seeds? We'll overcome this little problem by walking a thousand miles to get to the coast, then we'll build a ship that harness's the power of the wind and set sail for this remote island to collect our seeds. Could you just check your GPS and tell me where exactly this remote island is as we sail through some of the roughest sea's in the world... Oh no, how do we power that handy dandy GPS?
Ok, lets presume that we reach this wonderful island in the middle of nowhere with our Canada Goose Parkas made of ash presumably(as all vegetation and most wildlife is gone, and there hasn't been a oil refinery running in 6 months). Now we just use the "doomsday vault" key that everyone was given, Oh no, I must have misplaced my key. Now we just have to get through five sets of nucleur blast proof doors. Then the easy part, all we have to do is scale down this elevator shaft 437 feet to the actual seed storage facility. Now, lets just fill our pockets with the three million species of seeds and climb back up the elevator shaft to our waiting ship wich hopefully has grown as large as our pockets and sail back to the growing land of our choice, never allowing the seeds to touch the saltwater we're surrounded by and we're home free.
Gee, thanks a lot all you saviours of the universe, I for one will sleep well tonight, thanks to our "Doomsday Vault".
Take Care

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